


of honey flavored condoms

by kouchoe (reedelios)



Series: day twelve and onwards [1]
Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Cute, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Romantic Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-25
Updated: 2020-06-25
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:47:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,424
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24904804
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reedelios/pseuds/kouchoe
Summary: Saeyoung was never an open person. He would hide behind his poorly thought jokes and fast paced banter, and would take three steps back when you attempt to take one step towards him. He is apprehensive and would let earth and heaven fall over first before telling you how he feels, for fear that he would put you in danger.Saeyoung was never an open person, but as I kissed him, as his fingertips trailed my skin lightly, leaving a trace of fire, I thought—his heart is open, and it’s mine to take.
Relationships: 707 | Choi Luciel/Main Character, 707 | Choi Luciel/Reader
Series: day twelve and onwards [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1802101
Comments: 4
Kudos: 74





	of honey flavored condoms

**Author's Note:**

> this can be 707 x mc / 707 x reader because i see MC as a self insert. enjoy!

_Saeyoung._ I tried to jolt him awake, shaking his shoulders as the sweat pooled from his skin. _Saeyoung_ , I tried again.

His eyes fluttered open. _Huh?_ He gasped, clutching at his forehead, confused and shocked. _Are you okay?_ I asked, my brows knitting in worry. I wiped his sweat with tissue, gently holding his hand in the process. He looked tired, his gold eyes tinged with strain. If I could, I’d kiss them all away.

He's been having dreams about his childhood again.

At first, the consequences were mild—he would just gasp and wake up, then fall back asleep after taking deep breaths. Slowly, though, they worsened. There is a non-reclining fear that someday he might not open his eyes at all. I shivered at the thought.

 _We have to get you checked_ , I said softly, knowing this was something he had refused to do even when we weren't dating and the nightmares were at an all time high then.

 _Yeah_ , he said, covering his eyes with his forearm. _Yeah, okay_. I held his hand, and we stayed like that for a while.

After Saeyoung has fallen asleep for the second time, I got up for a glass of water. The room was a mess. Saeyoung has gotten so used to being alone that we were having a hard time transitioning to living together. Slowly, though, we were getting there—the tiny bits of our own lives and their fragments slowly intertwining and finding a sync of their own. There are days when I’d come in and see him cleaning by himself, or organizing his stash of honey buddha chips (a stash I vehemently refused to keep, but there was no stopping him— _these are my lifeline_ , he’d say) and his fridge that, in the usual circumstance, was filled with PhD Pepper. It took a while, but after many quarrels and _what is wrong with you’s_ , he finally knows to look in the kitchen when he can’t find me and leave the curtains down when he gets up at seven.

Saeyoung was never an open person. He would hide behind his poorly thought jokes and fast paced banter, and would take three steps back when you attempt to take one step towards him. He is apprehensive and would let earth and heaven fall over first before telling you how he feels, for fear that he would put you in danger. The few genuine words I would hear were those that concerned my pressing safety and my health.

For Saeyoung, laying himself bare was not a careless occasion. Speaking about himself was the height of vulnerability, a sign that everything else he relied on; honey buddha chips, sodas, and cats, have been exhausted and rendered futile. Once, before we were dating, he talked about himself—I calculate he used around a hundred words, spoken in what seemed like a frozen bracket of time. He spoke in a low voice, almost a whisper.

 _I never wanted to be alone,_ was what he said _. I wanted to be happy, just like all the others. I coveted Zen’s openness, Jumin’s relationship with his father, V’s with Rika, and Yoosung and the normalcy he lived in_. I remember he took a deep breath, pausing slightly. _These things_ , he continued _, are mundane things._

 _But they were things I will never have_.

I padded over to the bed and looked over at Saeyoung’s face. His eyes fluttered open at my touch.

 _MC?_ He asked, fighting the sleepiness in his eyes. He held my face, touching at my cheeks. I didn’t realize I was crying.

I leaned into his hand, and we stayed like that for a while.

_Didn’t you know, Saeyoung? You always had me._

* * *

_. . ._

_Okay?_ I asked Saeyoung, as I entered the room. The therapy session was concluded hours ago, but he didn't speak about it once. I let him be, thinking that there were things that are needed to be fought on your own. Not that I wouldn't be here for him, though.

He was sitting at his desk looking over the monitors. Codes flooded the screen. He never bothered to hide them from me—I didn’t speak code, but he told me it was because he trusted everything: his life, secrets, and work with me. The faint sunlight doused his hair in a soft, glowing light as he touched the keyboards casually. Pushing back his hair, he let out a small huff. _God,_ I thought. _He looks so good_. He turned to me.

 _Hm_? He asked, smiling as our I eyes met _. What's that?_ I grinned, presenting the box proudly. _My present_ , I said, smiling mischievously. I roughly made it in time. Saeyoung gave me strict rules about his present. _No extravagant ones,_ he instructed. _Nothing car related. No clothes, and no new glasses. No computer related gizmo, no Elizabeth the 3 rd, no alcohol_. It was hardly fair. He was baiting me to give him the god forsaken chips and sodas. He succeeded, sadly. I smiled to myself. _But…you’re not the only one that can be sly, you know?_

Saeyoung padded over to the bed, observing the box. “Why,” he asked, looking at it, his hand touching his chin, “do I feel such a foreboding energy from this box?” I rolled my eyes. “That must be from me, not the box.” He smiled.

Gently, he undid the ribbon and opened it. His eyes widened.

 _What_ —

And then he burst out laughing.

The box was a special Saeyoung birthday box I had prepared for him—it contained Honey Buddha Chips, PHD Peppers, a new hoodie, a letter written in longhand, cat stickers and...a honey flavored condom. Granted, I put it in there as a joke, but you never know. I was so irritated with his bullet point rules that I tossed them in without much thought.

 _Stop laughing_ , I pouted, slapping his arm. He only laughed more, so I laughed with him.

 _Babe_ , he said, gasping for air. He looked at me, his eyes soft, golden, glinting. _Thank you_.

I smiled. His laughing face, I can stare at forever. Reaching out, I touched his cheek.

You don't have to shoulder everything, Saeyoung. _Let me carry your weight with you._

He cupped my cheek in return, looking at me delicately. _I don't intend to_ , he said. A pause.

… _But my therapist told me that these dreams are caused by my anxiety of not having a place in this world, of not having anyone to belong to... Of not being truly alive. I thought a lot about what he said_ , Saeyoung exclaimed, looking somber.

I was about to protest when he put a finger on my lips. He looked at me earnestly, his eyes saying, listen to me, I know, I know—I’m not alone, not anymore.

 _I know, I know,_ he smiled. _I thought a lot about what he said, and I realized he was right, in a way, but not completely. I'm having those nightmares because I'm afraid_.

Afraid?

 _Of losing you_ , he answered. “All my life I've hidden and laughed, but I was never truly myself, because I never had someone who wanted me to be. But you, you found me. These nightmares are _because_ _I don't want to lose the place I found beside you_.” He said this so quietly, almost a murmur.

I held his hands. _Saeyoung, you will never lose your place beside me_.

His eyes glinted; they were close to tears. _I know_. I think it'll be gone now.

Oh? I asked. How can you say so?

He looked over. I think I needed to acknowledge that fear, because it's the kind of fear that was about to eat my heart whole, he said. Love comes with fear, I replied simply.

I leaned forward and kissed him. I'll gladly welcome that fear, if it's for you. Happy birthday, Saeyoung Choi.

He smiled.

_So...can we use your gift?_

I pushed him playfully before jumping him.

. . .

Saeyoung was never an open person. He would hide behind his poorly thought jokes and fast paced banter, and would take three steps back when you attempt to take one step towards him. He is apprehensive and would let earth and heaven fall over first before telling you how he feels, for fear that he would put you in danger.

Saeyoung was never an open person, but as I kissed him, as his fingertips trailed my skin lightly, leaving a trace of fire, I thought—his heart is open, and it’s mine to take.

 _Always_.

**Author's Note:**

> this was originally a 400-word prompt, but i thought i'd flesh it out. let me know what u think <3
> 
> twit: @kouchoe


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